Best Butt Escort Service

[Exercise: How have nuts impacted your life?]

Pea-wal-chest-hazel-chest-nuts. Insane-crazy-off-his-rocker-nuts. Oh-shit!-You-hit-me-in-my-nuts!-nuts. Eccentric-nutty-professor-nuts. Funny-love-to-poke-nuts.

I share a “nutty behavior” trait with my father and grandfather, all three of us tricksters who like to poke fun; like to expose what’s hidden and beneath the surface—things that are noticed, felt, but unspoken—sometimes for fun; other times, not so much. My first year at Catholic school and the year of my parent’s divorce, I pulled down a kid’s pants as he stood writing at the blackboard. The teacher, who stepped out of the room, briefly, came back to a room full of laughter.

What did a formerly-well-behaved-twelve-year-old girl seek to accomplish by embarrassing a fellow schoolmate? I doubt this particular incident was about exposing the boy. It most likely reflected the trauma I kept hidden from others—an unconscious attempt to expose the wounded part of me that longed to be seen, held, attended to. A joke is never “just a joke.” There’s always truth behind our “just kiddings.”

My father—a quiet, rational, down-to-earth man; an engineer with a strong reputation in his community for his professionalism—also likes to play pranks and make people laugh. The Halloween he dressed up as a woman escort on rollerblades and went “trick or treating” at our neighbor’s house holding a “Best Butt Escort Service” sign, was a classic. Thank goodness our neighbor, who regularly called on escorts, had a sense of humor!