New Awareness During Meditation

Every now and then Jeff and I go for a walking meditation before we begin our work day. Walking meditation requires greater concentration because it’s easy to get distracted by the birds, the cars, and other moving objects outside. Today, however, I had a breakthrough during my meditation practice. I started out with a prayer, then used part of the prayer as a mantra every time I noticed that my mind had wandered: “Not my will, but thine, o Lord.” I had been feeling fear from a situation at work and was projecting the reason for my fear onto others and the situation. During my meditation, I decided to be present with my fear, without judgment. My tendency is to label emotions as positive or negative, but this time I decided to think of my fear as neutral. During my meditation, I experienced all the physiological responses my body has when fear is present: shallow breathing, constricted throat muscles. My egoic self kept trying to pull me into believing that the reason for my fear was something or someone else, but every time I felt this tendency, I repeated my prayer mantra. After a short time, I began receiving information from a part of me that felt like an inner knowing or inner witness. I learned that my fear was simply a pattern that I didn’t need to change, but simply notice. I am happy to have discovered a new part of myself today. I look forward to learning more!