After my parents divorced, my mother transferred me from a public

to a Catholic school. I attended mass, participated in the rituals, was

baptized and confirmed. I spoke the words I was taught without much

thought or understanding. During mass, I studied people’s faces and

clothing. I noticed shapes, colors, and smells. I watched an elegantly dressed

woman escort her elderly father to his seat; how she’d hold onto

his elbows until he released the weight of his body onto the pew with a

thump. I’d notice couples with well-dressed children, and wonder why

some kids got to sit in a special room with books and toys. My mother,

who had broken sacraments and not been to confession, would whisper

into my ear as we stood in line for communion, “I’m a Catholic in my

own way.” Thank God she taught me to think independently. I left the

church in my early 20s after the priest began spouting off and foaming at

the mouth as he spoke about gays and lesbians and unborn fetuses. It’s

no wonder my father finds comfort in atheism.

(from my zine crushed & dirty mangoes)

separ/ation

cosmic plates shift, move

further a-part

separated by time, distance, understanding

of life — love—purpose

gap widens, hole

deepens, water

darkens—matters of choice

and consequence

I release all identities

of those who came before me

I release all ideas

inherited from religion

I release all “shoulds” and

judgments about what’s “good”

and “bad”

I release

a multi-dimensional

being. a vast network

of cells—interconnected.

living, breathing as one. contradictory

by nature. contained in the oneness.

expressive of the multitude.

continuously evolving. creating.

never the same.

We Are. You Are. I Am.

Here. Now. Everywhere. Always.